Way to Go Jane!

How Jane “Nightbirde” Helped Me Find My Own Hope

I first discovered Jane, known to the world as Nightbirde, through her unforgettable performance on America’s Got Talent. Her song “It’s Okay” was beautiful—but it was her quiet strength that took my breath away. When she said, “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy,” those words went straight to my heart.

Later, I found her blog, and one post in particular—“God Is on the Bathroom Floor”—became something I have returned to again and again. In it, Jane writes about pain, faith, and finding mercy in the lowest places. Her words, “If you can’t see Him, look lower. God is on the bathroom floor,” made me see that hope isn’t about pretending everything is okay—it’s about believing there’s meaning even in the mess.

I’ve faced my own seasons of loss, hardship, and rebuilding, and her honesty helped me find my voice again. Jane gave me permission to be honest about my struggles and to still choose hope. That’s why I began writing more openly on my own blog, DaringtoMend.com—a space for honest stories about healing, courage, and learning to see beauty in broken places.

Jane showed the world that joy isn’t something that comes after life gets easier—it’s something we can choose, right here, in the middle of it all. Her faith, her words, and her music continue to remind me that we can be both hurting and hopeful, fragile and strong.

Thank you, Jane, for showing me that even when life is hard, it’s still worth living—and that it’s okay to be both broken and brave at the same time.

With gratitude,

Michelle 

 

Important Links:

Nightbirde

The Nightbirde Foundation

God is on the Bathroom Floor — Nightbirde 

Monday Mania

Note: This is not referring to clinical mania.

I wanted to drop in with a few words as I continue working toward creating more structure and consistency in my writing—something you, as a reader, can look forward to each week.

Truth: Yesterday’s planned Sunday blog didn’t happen. And today, although I’ve spent time tinkering with my site’s format and backend tools, it’s only now that I’m finally pausing to share a few thoughts. It’s not the schedule I intended… but it’s real. And maybe, that’s the point.

Here’s what I’m reminding myself today:

  1. New habits and creative projects rarely go smoothly in the beginning — and that’s okay.
  2. In the past, I would have beaten myself up for not sticking to the plan… or worse, given up entirely.
  3. I have a full life outside of this space — responsibilities, appointments, holiday prep, and all the everyday “life stuff” that doesn’t pause.
  4. At some point, you have to start before you feel fully ready. Planning is great, but you only learn to “ride the bike” by getting on and pedaling.

 

So that’s how I’m choosing to view my stumbles yesterday and today. I’m trusting the process—my process—and sharing this imperfect beginning with you. This little post is my newly hatched egg, and you’re here to witness it.

Thank you for being here as I find my rhythm.

Before You Go… 👀✨

If you made it this far through my beautifully imperfect Monday Mania ramble, then we are officially on the same wavelength — aka chaos with charm.

Do me a favor?

😅 Drop a comment and tell me:
What’s something you planned that went hilariously off-track… but you just rolled with it?

💃 Hit “like,” share, or send this to a fellow human who’s also out here winging life like a baby giraffe learning to walk.

📅 Stick around — I promise structure is coming… eventually. Probably. Maybe. (Let’s find out together.)

✨ Streaming Saturday: DBT & Me – A Mindfulness-Fueled Reset

This week’s Streaming Saturday is a little different—less entertainment, more nourishment. I want to share a resource that has been one of the most life-changing supports in both my personal healing and my “comeback chapter.”

Many of you may not know that I completed a multi-week, psychoeducational group on Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) back in the summer of 2013—my final year of graduate school. I didn’t realize at the time just how deeply those skills would travel with me. Over the years, I’ve circled back to DBT again and again—especially during the seasons where life felt heavier than my coping toolbox could hold. Those skills became anchors, reminders, and eventually… a way forward.

So when I stumbled upon the “DBT & Me” podcast, it felt like a full-circle moment.

Why This Podcast? Why Now?

Hosted by two mental health therapists, Kate and Michelle, the DBT & Me podcast breaks down DBT skills in accessible, human, real-world language. Their energy is relatable, positive, and surprisingly calming—almost like sitting in on a group session, but with friends who “get it.”

I just wrapped up the first mindfulness episodes, and wow… they were the refresher I didn’t know I needed. Mindfulness is the foundation of DBT, and hearing it through their voices felt grounding. No clinical jargon overload, no pressure—just gentle reminders and real application.

Their YouTube description sums up their mission well:

“DBT can improve depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and other mental health struggles… Whether you’ve never heard of DBT before or are experienced with DBT skills, we’re here to help you learn and use DBT skills in your daily life.”

Exactly that.

Why I’m Sharing This With You

Because we’re all navigating something.

Because coping isn’t always intuitive.

Because emotional regulation is a life skill, not a diagnosis.

And because sometimes, the most powerful “streaming” is the kind that fills your mind and heart—not just your background noise.

Where to Listen

You can find DBT & Me here:

  • Apple Podcasts
  • Spotify
  • Google Podcasts
  • iHeartRadio
  • YouTube: @dbtandmepodcast

If your nervous system has been asking for a reset… or if you’ve been craving tools that don’t require a self-help marathon to understand—this may be the sign you needed.

The Ones Who “Get Away” with the Harm They Have Done

“The Ones Who Get Away With It”

You know what’s sad?

There’s really only one kind of narcissist who ever faces real punishment—the ones who raise a hand, or use a weapon, and get caught. But what we don’t talk about enough—what we often downplay or even joke about—are the gaslighters, the stonewallers, the manipulators, the histrionic “victims.” The ones who can do just as much damage—sometimes worse—and still walk free, untouched by the law, as they generally followed the letter of the law or used the law to work in their favor.

And that’s the part that haunts me.

Now, maybe you’ll disagree, and that’s okay.

But here’s how I see it:

We’re all guilty of something.

We’ve all played “that part” at some point—whether we meant to or not.

Some of us recognize it. We own it. We try to do better.

Others? They don’t.

They call the victim crazy.

They say you’re delusional.

They dismiss you, label you, erase you.

But I believe—I hope—that there’s a God, or a Universe, or some force out there that sees it all.

And that belief? That’s what keeps me humble.

Because I know I’m not perfect either.

But I’m trying.

Trying to break the cycle.

That’s why, even though I love children—truly, deeply—I chose not to have my own.

Because no child deserves to be born into a home with broken, selfish parents.

Yes, parents are human. They make mistakes.

But the ones who never admit their failures?

They do real harm.

Even just disrespecting the other parent—

That’s a wound a child carries for life.

Because that child came from both of you.

They carry pieces of each parent, whether you like it or not.

And unless one parent was truly toxic, it’s not just about your pain.

It’s about what that child has already endured.

That’s my parental advice.

And yeah, maybe someone will say,

“You’ve never been a parent.”

But that’s not true.

I’ve mothered many.

They weren’t children anymore.

They didn’t come from my womb.

But they were damaged souls who crossed my path—

And I showed up for them.

When I die, maybe there won’t be a big funeral.

Maybe not many will come.

But I’ll go knowing this:

I fulfilled my purpose.

And I’m at peace with that.

Image Description for the Visually Impaired or those interested in understanding why this image was attached:

In a dimly lit, shadow-heavy room, a woman sits hunched over on the floor. Her posture is broken—shoulders collapsed inward, head bowed low, arms wrapped around herself as if trying to hold together what’s left. Her long hair falls forward, partially obscuring her face, but the faint light source—soft and subtle—catches the glisten of tears in her eyes. The light gently illuminates her face and shoulders, casting deep shadows that emphasize her isolation and emotional weight.

The background is stark and haunting: a cracked, aged wall looms behind her, streaked with vivid red lines that drip downward like bleeding memories or emotional scars. The red streaks are abstract—neither blood nor paint—but they evoke trauma, rage, and unresolved pain. The wall itself feels cold, almost alive, as if it’s witnessed everything she’s endured.

The overall mood is heavy, raw, and deeply emotional. The darkness doesn’t just surround her—it presses in. Yet the faint light suggests a sliver of hope, or at least awareness. She’s not invisible. She’s seen. And that matters.

Full Lyric Link to Song by Nightborde Attached to my Facebook version of this post:

https://www.nightbirde.co/lyrics/brave

For CD Apple Music, YouTube, and and/or Spotify links, just search Brave by Nightbird.

Rethinking Addiction: Learning and Unlearning

I’ve been thinking a lot about addiction and recovery lately—not just in the big, dramatic sense, but in the everyday ways we all learn to cope. This is my attempt to put some of those thoughts into words.

Addiction as a Learned Behavior

To me, addiction is a maladaptive learned behavior—a coping skill we picked up along the way. If we can learn maladaptive ways to cope, then it’s just as possible to learn new ones.

The challenge is unlearning—or re-teaching—the part of our brain that was malfunctioning at the time. That malfunction might have been triggered by trauma, by curiosity, or simply because something looked fun in the moment.

What Really Helps

Sure, some of us have predispositions, metabolic disorders, or other challenges. But at the end of the day, the only way we can really move forward is to:

  • Get the kind of support we want or need.
  • Practice self-honesty and mindfulness (Jon Kabat-Zinn’s work is a great place to start).
  • Learn the tools, adopt a growth—not fixed or shame-based—mindset, and get comfortable with both our strengths and weaknesses. Both matter. Both have value.

Time Alone Matters

This one often gets a bad reputation, but it matters: spend time alone sometimes. Sit with your thoughts, your heart, your pain, your joy, or even your exhaustion. Give yourself space to “just be” and get to know who you are outside of everyone else.

Recovery Isn’t Linear

You may only tackle one thought process or habit at a time. One day, you try a small thing differently. The next, you try another. Some days, you don’t try anything at all because life has other fires burning. That’s normal. Life ebbs and flows. So does recovery.

Change Takes Time

The best time to start is today—but that doesn’t mean change is instant. Sometimes we grow quickly, sometimes slowly. Sometimes it takes years for an idea to sink in. And then suddenly—it clicks. One old belief falls away, then another, then another.

The Work No One Sees

The hardest part? The most important work often happens inside, where no one else can see it. Sometimes even we don’t believe what we’re doing is worth anything—until, one day, it is. The direction shifts. And like a phoenix, we rise again.

Keep Growing

Depression, anxiety, food addiction, cigarettes, trauma—whatever the struggle is, growth is possible. Like a seed, you can push through the soil and grow.

Start where you are. Keep going.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. If anything here resonates with you, let it be a reminder that progress doesn’t have to look perfect, and healing rarely happens in a straight line. You’re allowed to start small, pause, fall back, and begin again. That’s still growth.

Taking Time to Reflect Re-Fuels my Journey

Hi friends,

I’m pressing pause here at Daring to Mend for a little while. Right now, my focus needs to be on self-care and creating space to reset. My hope is to return refreshed, with renewed clarity and a more consistent rhythm for sharing.

Thank you for being here, and I look forward to reconnecting soon with updated content and new energy.

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Way to Go Jane!

How Jane “Nightbirde” Helped Me Find My Own Hope I first discovered Jane, known to the world as Nightbirde, through

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