I’ve been thinking a lot about addiction and recovery lately—not just in the big, dramatic sense, but in the everyday ways we all learn to cope. This is my attempt to put some of those thoughts into words.
Addiction as a Learned Behavior
To me, addiction is a maladaptive learned behavior—a coping skill we picked up along the way. If we can learn maladaptive ways to cope, then it’s just as possible to learn new ones.
The challenge is unlearning—or re-teaching—the part of our brain that was malfunctioning at the time. That malfunction might have been triggered by trauma, by curiosity, or simply because something looked fun in the moment.
What Really Helps
Sure, some of us have predispositions, metabolic disorders, or other challenges. But at the end of the day, the only way we can really move forward is to:
- Get the kind of support we want or need.
- Practice self-honesty and mindfulness (Jon Kabat-Zinn’s work is a great place to start).
- Learn the tools, adopt a growth—not fixed or shame-based—mindset, and get comfortable with both our strengths and weaknesses. Both matter. Both have value.
Time Alone Matters
This one often gets a bad reputation, but it matters: spend time alone sometimes. Sit with your thoughts, your heart, your pain, your joy, or even your exhaustion. Give yourself space to “just be” and get to know who you are outside of everyone else.
Recovery Isn’t Linear
You may only tackle one thought process or habit at a time. One day, you try a small thing differently. The next, you try another. Some days, you don’t try anything at all because life has other fires burning. That’s normal. Life ebbs and flows. So does recovery.
Change Takes Time
The best time to start is today—but that doesn’t mean change is instant. Sometimes we grow quickly, sometimes slowly. Sometimes it takes years for an idea to sink in. And then suddenly—it clicks. One old belief falls away, then another, then another.
The Work No One Sees
The hardest part? The most important work often happens inside, where no one else can see it. Sometimes even we don’t believe what we’re doing is worth anything—until, one day, it is. The direction shifts. And like a phoenix, we rise again.
Keep Growing
Depression, anxiety, food addiction, cigarettes, trauma—whatever the struggle is, growth is possible. Like a seed, you can push through the soil and grow.
Start where you are. Keep going.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. If anything here resonates with you, let it be a reminder that progress doesn’t have to look perfect, and healing rarely happens in a straight line. You’re allowed to start small, pause, fall back, and begin again. That’s still growth.
